It looks like winter outside, but technically it's still fall. We had a lot of winter this fall and not much fall. It's spitting snow outside yet again and the temps are just downright frigid. Later this week, the weather should be warmer. It really wouldn't take much.
As I look out my window, the fact that I never got my yard cleaned up stares me in the face. I move the laptop slightly so I don't have to look at the worst of it. My yard isn't neat and tidy as I tried to do for my clients. It's a mess – dead plant stalks, pots that didn't get put away. Is that a metaphor for my life? Aren't our gardens reflections of us? Most days I try not to contemplate such deep thoughts. But the holidays loom around the corner, I'm alone in the house, it's cold out and contemplation comes easy.
We got an offer on my mother's house today, the last vestige of her estate. My brothers and I became orphans this year and now we are only adults sharing (ever so slightly on my end) in the responsibilities of raising the progeny. We are the elders now and we are only in our 50's, each of us. How is it possible to be an elder at 50? How can we know what to say to the children when they ask us advice? We aren't old enough yet to know; there hasn't been enough life lived yet.
We are not stately oaks or cottonwoods that have learned to weather the storms with grace and aplomb. We are just middle aged trees hoping our branches won't break because no one has shaken the snow off. There's no one left to care for us. It is now us who must care for all the others. And sometimes it's just hard to tend our own gardens when we are busy tending others.
We will get a nice warm day in January or February. I'll be missing the work a bit and will go outside to tend my garden and put it in order. It would be a shame for all those spring bulbs to come up and my garden be a mess.
In the meantime, I wish you all sugar cookies and brightly wrapped presents, the smell of pine and a warm fire and wonderful, glorious holidays. Don't forget to water your trees and shrubs this winter if there is no snow and the temps are above 40. Maybe we'll have fall in the middle of winter.
